Beyonce Must Be a Terrible Mother

I personally have no idea what kind of mother Beyonce is. When I first read she was pregnant, I figured she’d be a lot like the rest of us: she would love her child deeply and want the very best for her.

Now that said infant has arrived, however, it has come to light that Beyonce is the Worst Mother In The World ™.  At least it has to many members of the Natural Child Birth Community. How did they figure this out? Well, they read in a few online tabloid articles that she gave birth via c-section. Because her baby was breech. At–somewhere around…maybe…that’s the rumor at least–37 weeks. Now, of course, breech babies are currently (unless you are a real woman, in which case you’ll give birth to your footling breech twins vaginally at home) on the official Approved Reasons for a C-section® list, but it is so very clear to these women that the timing for Beyonce is  inappropriate. We all know that articles about celebrities are the epitome of accuracy in journalism. We also know that certain members of the NCB elite have special powers enabling them to determine whether circumstances surrounding a c-section were appropriate without access to medical records (I have experienced women with these amazing powers firsthand when sharing my own birth story). And there is NO WAY that Beyonce might have released a due date later than her real one in order to throw the paparazzi off. So what does all this mean? Yep, it means that Beyonce is a selfish, horrible mother. And that the birth of her baby is sick. Gross. Ridiculous. Stupid. A real bummer. Worthy of the pronouncement, “Ugh!”

(might I interject here that I find it a little frightening that there’s a woman out there calling herself a midwife who is unaware of the difference between a gut and a uterus…)
But wait, there’s more! I had forgotten that when your baby is extracted through the sunroof, it isn’t really birth.
In reality, the baby was harvested and Beyonce would have been better off using a surrogate if she couldn’t handle a vaginal breech birth.
Yep. Oh, and beware injecting reason into any discussion regarding the issue, lest you find yourself banned!
Ah, warm memories come flooding back of the time I told my birth story in the livejournal [info]pregnant community. How quickly we forget that that mothers — even celebrities — who have c-sections are people, too.
Lest I be accused of taking things out of context, have a gander at the original threads yourself (they’re all currently open for anyone to view):

24 thoughts on “Beyonce Must Be a Terrible Mother

  1. Awesome post…also, how do these Judgy McJudgersons know if Beyonce had pre-eclampsia or GD that was really affecting her AND/OR little Blue Ivy. And if she was only 37 weeks, she may have had a perfectly medically valid reason for delivering that early?

    They all need to shut the hell up…funny how they’re all about “choice” as long as you follow their lil formula on their lil timetable…smdh!

  2. NCB’s camp constantly lets their extreme beliefs catapult them to very disturbing and disgusting places. I assume they cannot see how ugly they sound. You had a BREECH baby that did manage to turn at the end? Great. Awesome! LUCKY (I repeat!!!) LUCKY you. You rolled the dice and won. That does not mean that everyone who rolls the dice will, or that most SANE people even want to take that chance. Do you really think that your baby would want to gamble on their chance at life either? Let’s see, give up the magically experience of being pushed out of my mom’s vagina or risk trauma and asphyxiating in said vagina? All before ever getting to experience even one glimpse of my own mama’s face. hmmmmm. Tough call. In fact, just thinking about coming out of my mom’s vagina makes me wish I had been born via C-section!
    NCB wackos, Your babies got lucky. And you got lucky even though you didn’t deserve to. Hats off to ya! As far as I am concerned, you have to REALLY love someone to have “your gut” sliced open for them.

    To say that an innocent newborn baby born by C-section, will be selfish and self-serving her whole life is DISGUSTING. Your children might have gotten the amazing gift of being squeezed out of you but they do have to live their whole life with a mother who would say something as vile as this. Is there such a think as a Birth Bigot?

    I hate it that they rented the whole floor. I hated it that a hospital gave them that opinion. But what happened to sheltering and cultivating a safe atmosphere at the moment of birth? Of course, they would have to rent a whole floor, if not a whole hospital in order to relax even a tiny bit in that moment. Birth is the most vulnerable moment in a women’s life. I thought this was the NCB’s shtick? How would you feel if you had to constantly worry that some crazed photographer was going to pop out and spread pictures of your baby crowning all over People magazine. Or even the family the next room over. (Let’s be honest, those picture could get your newborn a pretty nice college fund.) Oh wait I forgot you NCB freaks love to post pictures of your vagina all over the internet.
    Maybe this WAS planned from the beginning. I can’t think logistically how it would work any other way. It would have been worse for the other families if they had waited until spontaneous labor and than displaced a whole maternity ward on the fly.
    I am learning the hard way that life is not fair. There is not always a perfect solution. Beyonce and Jay-Z made the very best decision they could given their situation and resources. That’s what GOOD LOVING PARENTS do.

  3. What I love about this post is that it really sheds light on how us c-sec moms are treated. And obviously, no one is exempt from the birthy folk armchair quarterbacking. Too many people I know claim absolutely no c-sec mom is treated poorly for her birth choice, but all this proves how very wrong they are.

  4. HOW did I miss that crap on my own Facebook Page?!?! Criminy. I don’t stand for that shite. Will go attend to it now.

    I apologize… PROFUSELY… to ANY woman, cesarean or otherwise… who found anything said even mildly irritating. I’m rather disgusted and am so sorry I didn’t keep better track of the thread.

  5. Yeay for Beyonce and Jay Z! Im happy they got a healthy baby, and even the private, safe, birth they wanted and needed! I think critics are just jealous because this baby is so loved, and has all the things any person could want- doting parents, money, fame.

    She chose a CS- SO WHAT? Even if she did have a CDMR, which she didn’t, she’s an adult woman in good health she can choose what she wants for her own body and baby. NCBers love to toss out the whole “HB is a moms choice, her right” but refuse to allow others to use their power of choice. They get so ugly and say things so disgusting that even I am shocked to see it.

    None of these women would complain if the headline read “Beyonce has a UC”, even though UC is proven to be very, very, dangerous. Instead, they would congratulate her on being a wonderful, natural woman and give her a gold star for motherhood. Then they would plaster it on every NCB blog so they could convince others it is “safe”.

    But CS for a breech baby? Oh noes! Thats not allowed! Im sure they are all aware of her medical condition and real EDD (ha, they rarely know their own!). Who knows why she had her baby when she did, but only an idiot would believe a doc would take any chances with a high profile mom!

    Paying for a floor of a hospital to ensure no paparazzi? Unthinkable, they say, even though they all go through great lengths to ensure their “birth experience” is just so. No one else is allowed to do this, unless it involves a tub and a NCB. I even saw someone say that if she wanted privacy she should have stayed home. Yeah, because you are a celebrity, you don’t deserve to have a hospital birth or even leave your house. I’m happy that they knew the hospital was safe and did what they had to do to make it OK for them. Isn’t a mom suppose to advocate for herself to ensure a good experience- or is is just more NCB claptrap, meant for NCB only?

    LOVE the BF comment too. Fits right in with their anti CS, sanctimonious crap. As if pushing a baby out of your vag and having one suckling your boob makes you a “real” mom, but a CS and FF does not. I guess you should tell my kid he doesn’t have a real mommy! The worst ones are those who say this stuff then claim they are feminist. Biological essentialism is not feminism, it’s very anti woman to define us by the functioning of our genitals.

    I wish NCBers would stop and see how ugly they are. a happy couple welcomed their new baby into the world, and that baby is healthy and loved. The only thing that needs to be said is “Congrats on your beautiful baby!”

    And Kim Mosney CPM commenting that it’s sick, is the sickest thing I have heard- since she let a mom go 42+ weeks in a high risk situation then lost the baby because of HER substandard care, that is……

    NGM- it’s not your fault people are rude, you can’t watch every comment. Best thing to do is point out that CS is a legitimate choice that moms can make. You don’t have to labor for 30 hours or wait until baby is half dead to get a CS.

  6. Eh, I don’t recall them having an epic cow like this when Angelina Jolie basically reserved a whole COUNTRY for the birth of her first child…..who, incidentally, was born by c-section…..

    Did they? I can’t remember.

    Nevertheless, it speaks volumes about the dark, gaping holes where their hearts should be. Instead of being gracious and congratulating a mother on the birth of her first child, they jump all over her to question every single little thing she did. Nice.

    Welcome to the playgroup, Beyonce. Trust me….these broads only get worse from here.

  7. “birthy folk armchair quarterbacking”

    This has me laughing out loud.

    But really now.. this post is an armchair quarterbacking session of it’s own.

    Everyone undertaking this epic journey of parenting should be commended… it’s an ugly world of choices out there. If by doing what you truly believe to be best for you and your family, you offend.. well.. let them be glad that they all have their own full lifetime to make decisions for themselves. I think that everyone in every parenting community needs to start to see how to work together, if not peaceably go about their business without hackles being raised.

    Ha! Raise people, not hackles. I like that.

  8. Um, Benny, … “armchair quarterbacking?” Really? This Mosney woman is spreading dangerous misconceptions (putting it mildly) about C-sections – misconceptions her “fans” may follow, some of them to their very great regret. This post isn’t armchair quarterbacking, it’s education.

    Maybe you need to read this post again? A little more slowly, this time …

  9. I read the NY Times post about this and it said that it was possibly $1.3 million dollars. Very clear that was a rumor. But if someone rents out an entire wing of a hospital and has a planned c-section wouldn’t that wing have been cleared before she got there? Who does planned c-sections on the weekend? Isn’t that always the NCB argument is doctors want to get to their next golf game? So maybe she went into labor on her own, baby hadn’t turned, so they did a c-section. I can’t say I agree with the things that have come out about the situation with Beyonce. I can’t say it’s really her fault. Sounds more like a hospital administration issue. Do we know that she herself even knew parents were being kept from their babies? Too much passing judgement. Until the words come out of her mouth that she had a planned c-section and knowingly kept parents from their babies, then I think people should shut their mouths.

  10. I am an L&D nurse. Good luck finding a doctor who will do a breech birth on a nulliparous woman. Try yourself. It’s not easy. External cephalic version works sometimes but not always and has its own risks. Breech is a risky birth. You need a very experienced doc or midwife and a pelvis that can do it. The labors tend to be a little longer too. Doable if you want to, but you have to be willing to accept all these things! Would you? I help women laot naturally all the time and am glad more women are choosing to do so. I also help women through labor whose preparation did not include preparing for LABOR. I am grateful they have the things they need for baby but an epidural is not the only thing you need to know about!

  11. Just a little FYI, she neither rented out the hospital floor (thus inhibiting people visiting the NICU) nor did she have her baby “harvested”! People should really wait before they run their mouth!

  12. I really appreciate this post and quite a few of the comments on here, but let me point out that it is by all means not JUST the Natural Birth Community calling for Beyonce’s head for being the worst mother in the world. WOMEN, even those who have had c-sections, are attacking her because she is the WORST person in the world for being rich and treated as such. I’ve read some very nasty things, the worst coming from someone who hopes something ends up wrong with her baby so that she can be denied access to the NICU like other people were from her selfishness. In the end, no matter what side of the camp you fall on, there are people who are judgmental, mean, hateful, and downright AWFUL to one another for a variety of reasons. It’s woman on woman, mother on mother, hate. Pure and simple. It makes my heart ache.

  13. I keep forgetting that when you choose homebirth over the welfare of your baby you are exercising your rights and freedom of choice, but do it any other (read appropriate/sane/safe) way and you are not even a woman, much less a mother. Hypocritical bitches.

  14. Thanks for posting this. It’s so sad how they are attacking her. She is a mom and she gave birth. Respect should be given and acknowledged regardless of celebrity.

  15. Personally I don’t see why this is getting so much press. She had a baby (either way doesn’t really matter) she and baby are ok so all is good.
    Not that long ago I spent 2 months working in a refugee camp outside Darfur in the Sudan. I saw so many mothers and children sick and near death for lack of basics like clean water and fresh food. My first week there 7 mothers died in our clinics quarter during or just after child birth from complications like blood loss and just plain poor sanitation (2 from infections post birth due to a lack of antibiotics). Yet no where do you read about this in the press or on blogs. I think we need to go back to a time when ‘news’ was real not idol gossip on what may or may not have happened.

  16. It bears repeating that she didn’t have a c/sec, nor did she rent out the whole floor. She had an executive suite that anyone can rent for the same price she did. I saw pics of it today: very large, well-appointed, and big enough to hold a political caucus. It looks like a 4-star hotel room.

    Oh, the baby was about 7 lbs., according to the press release. I hate tabloids.

  17. Does making moms who had a c-section make your vagina not so stretched out? If not leave us the f*&! alone.

    I’m sorry your husband is mad because you are all stretched out, but that doesn’t make those of us who get c-sections (medical necessity or not) the reason.

    If I have to read one more article where we are the not as good as the moms who had vaginal birth I am going to SCREAM!!!!

    We are all moms, who cares how our babies came out or why they came out that way, we all love them and had them the best way we could at the time, get over yourselves and your stretched out P*$$ies!

    • WOAH Nellie…

      I think we’re on the same side here.

      Crunchies said that about Beyonce. Obviously, they’re totally full of shit.

      This post is total satire.

  18. It completely saddens me that there are doulas and midwives out there saying that a c-section is not giving birth. I am in the Natural Childbirth Community. I had a midwife and doula. I planned for an unmedicated birth using Hypnobirthing. I ended up having a C-section. I don’t believe I’m less of a mother or love myself more than my baby. I believe its the opposite actually.

    I too had a breech baby. I did tons of research and talked to several professionals. The ACOG does not reccommend C-sections for Frank Breech (butt down, which was my daughter) because frank breech isn’t any riskier than a head down baby. There are lots of different types of breech. Unfortuately some hospitals don’t care what kind you are they want to do a scheduled C-section for all kinds. With footling breech they recommend because of a chance of cord prolapse and the baby coming out before you are fully dilated and then the head gets caught.

    I had to switch hospitals at 38 wks because the hospital my midwife worked at wouldn’t let me have a vaginal birth. I went to a big University hospital and got a doc with lots of experience delievering breech. If you have a doc with no experience they are the biggest risk to your baby. Which is what happened to me. My experienced doc wasn’t there yet,I went back for a C-section at 9 cm with a footling breech. BUT I STILL GAVE BIRTH!!!

    My doula and midwife where fully supportive of my decision I knew a section was less risky than the doc delivering my baby. She could have damaged the kidneys and other organs by grabbing her the wrong way or hyperextended her neck by pulling her out wrong.

    I believe every woman does what she thinks is best for her baby. Just because she had a section doesn’t mean she doesn’t love her baby less or didn’t give birth. Just like women who choose to have an epidural, it doesn’t mean they love their babies less either. I think all women should educate themselves though. I’m so thankful that I was introduced to Hypnobirthing, I was at 9 cm and I felt like I was having menstral cramps. Women shouldn’t fear birth it doesn’t have to be the worst pain of your life! I love (most) women in the natural childbirth community they are understanding, supportive (of whatever decision you make), and are very educated. Obviously the women in the above fb posts are not and I’m sad they are representing the natural childbirth community.

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