Attention Homebirth Advocates

LB

Unregistered midwives leading child births face jail or $30,000 fine under new SA laws.

That’s right. South Australia has passed a law to keep rogue midwives from killing babies. The law is apparently named after Lisa Barrett, who is responsible for the deaths of five  (FIVE!) infants in the last few years. On her website she recounts — with pride — birth stories full of high risk scenarios and obviously questionable judgement, ranging from… twins whom she allowed to deliver more than 48 hours apart (Story comes complete with a google search whereupon she came back to inform the expectant parents that the average time between delivery of twins is FORTY SEVEN DAYS. Even though most reputable sources and common sense report it as being 17 minutes.)… to a 35 weeker who didn’t begin breathing until TEN MINUTES after she was born… to a HBA3C with a previous vertical incision. Pictures of limp, blue babies abound. Instead of decrying these practices and discussing about why so many homebirths attended by Lisa Barrett end in tragedy, homebirth advocates invite her to speak at their conferences.

If you truly valued the “right” to homebirth, you would be speaking out against midwives like Lisa Barrett, because without her, this law probably wouldn’t have a chance.

A side note: may I point out the irony of Kelly Vincent’s idiotic statement, “I fear it could drive homebirthing further underground, and could result in free birthing – a practice that must be monitored very carefully.”  

 

Attention Big Medicine: I’m Still Waiting for my Check!

Ever since I heard that I was in the pocket of Big Medicine, I’ve been eagerly awaiting the arrival of my payoff. Sadly, it hasn’t yet arrived. Anyone have any ideas on how I can collect what’s due me?

 

Of course, the comment was meant to be insulting, but it’s so ridiculous and hysterical I can’t help but be grateful she made it. The LULZ enough make up for the slight.

And, just to comment on the rest of the insultcomment…Diane Goslin was charged with practicing medicine without a license after the death of an infant in her care. It’s doubtful she and any of the other midwives in Pennsylvania being “harassed” by the authorities are receiving this attention without reason. I have no idea if she was found to be negligent, but she was breaking the law, an infant died, and she got the support of the midwifery community for it.

Batshittery Redux: Sisterhood Before Safety

Ever since I wrote the post This is Batshittery, I remain appalled and aghast at the continued support the homebirth community offers to killer midwives. At the time, I received several comments along the lines of, “Don’t lump us together with those extremists!” or “They really aren’t getting THAT much support.” Unfortunately, the more I observe this horrifying phenomenon, the more I believe that it simply isn’t the case. These midwives have large numbers of supporters, including the leaders of the natural birth movement, and these advocates are putting the cause before the lives and health of women and babies.

Lisa Barrett has presided over five deaths in four years. Even if she were attending 100 births a year (which I’m sure she isn’t), this would be a shockingly high and inappropriate death rate. She revels in her maverick status and her website is full of birth stories which showcase her questionable judgment. Is she being called out by members of the homebirth community? No, but there are TWO facebook groups (Including one brilliantly named “I support Lisa Barrett and That’s Final“) with more than 1600 members showing their support and raising money for her. She was also a featured speaker at this year’s Trust Birth conference.

But there are no facebook groups raising money for her victims.

If Lisa Barrett were an isolated incident, maybe I could be convinced it’s just a few supporters showing their cultish devotion. But it isn’t. Not only did she take on a 43-year-old first-time mother (in an of itself a high-risk situation) with a breech presentation, whose baby ultimately died and preside over the death of a twin shortly after birth, Karen Carr also told a hemorrhaging mother who was being transported not to tell the hospital about the drugs she’d administered. This behavior is unconscionable for a midwife. In spite of the behavior, however, Karen Carr has more than 1500 supporters sending her money in the Legal Defense Fund for Karen Carr, CPM Facebook community and a whole bunch of people showed up to protest at her hearings.

But no one is raising money for her victims.

Sara and Jarad Snyder’s son Magnus died at the hands of midwives at the Greenhouse Birth Center in Michigan. In spite of the fact that the midwives carry no malpractice insurance, the Snyders managed to find an attorney to take their case, and they are suing. Are any homebirth advocates raising funds to assist them with their legal bills? Hardly. There are homebirth advocates, however, banding together with the midwives to raise money for their legal assistance. In fact, the leader of the natural birth movement, Ina May Gaskin herself, is lending her support to these midwives. You can’t get more mainstream (when it comes to NCBers, at least) than that. Other supporters include Barbara Harper of Waterbirth International; Peggy O’Mara, former publisher and editor of Mothering magazine and Mothering.com mogul; Jennifer Block, author of Pushed; and Geradine Simkins, president of MANA.

And the latest batshittery? At a birth center in Idaho, there were three infant deaths between October 11, 2010 and August 9, 2011. That’s THREE DEATHS IN LESS THAN A YEAR (side note: 2010 and 2011 are going to be banner years for CPMs. I can hardly wait for the CDC numbers to come out.). In one case, they neglected to clamp the cord before they cut it. In another, they took on a mother with Type 1 diabetes, a situation that many obstetricians will refer to a MFM and then neglected to transfer when the baby’s heart rate dipped dangerously low. When paramedics were eventually called, the midwife delayed them in reaching the mother. And finally, they allowed a woman to push for more than 10 hours after discovering meconium in her amniotic fluid. After these deaths, was there an outcry? Were there facebook groups created to raise money for these stricken families? No, but there was an outcry that the midwives are being investigated.

And we can’t forget Clarebeth Loprinzi, who abandoned a woman for hours with her placenta still in her uterus and who’s license was finally revoked years later after yet another infant death. Midwifery Today, the banner publication for homebirth, is hawking “educational” recordings she made with Anita Rojas, another midwife involved in Oregon infant deaths.

Then there’s Gloria LeMayAlison OsbornEvelyn MulhanAmy Medwin. Diane Goslin. Janet Fraser.

I’m sorry, but it looks like you homebirth supporters who find this bizarre phenomenon distressing are actually in the minority. The people who are supporting these mavericks are making a statement, “It is more important to make homebirth look good than to make it safe for women and babies.” But in reality, this blind devotion isn’t even serving your purpose. As homebirth becomes more mainstream and these bad midwives continue to practice, they will be hurting more and more families. More attorneys will take on civil suits.  More legislators will be appalled. More arrests will be made. Why not pull your support now and throw the bums out?

Oregon Legislator Julie Parrish Responds to Moms Hurt by Homebirth

On February 16, several families who have been hurt by homebirth and their supporters came together in protest at the Oregon statehouse. What were they protesting? Oregon lay midwives who were holding a rally at the same time. Yes, Oregon homebirth midwives are beginning to worry that their free reign in Oregon may be coming to an end. People are starting to realize that it’s ridiculous that you need a license and training to paint someone’s  fingernails in this state but not to declare yourself a midwife.

So the midwives are stepping up their rhetoric. They pay Alan Tressider around $2,000 a month to lobby for them in Salem. Missy Cheney, chair of the Oregon Board of Direct Entry Midwifery (the entity, I might add, that is supposed to be REGULATING licensed midwives), is re-writing bills on behalf of the midwives and crowing about it in Oregon Midwifery Council newsletters. And then they have their annual rally day in which they gather on the statehouse steps to pat themselves on the back and then head inside to meet with their legislators.

Much to the shock of the counter-protesters, one of the pro-lay-midwife speakers at the rally was none other than Representative Julie Parrish, who has been appointed to a 3 member house sub-committee on midwifery. She spoke about how lay midwives were going to save the state so much money and co-opted the language of choice to refer to midwifery care.

Following the protest, several of the mothers hurt by homebirth midwives in Oregon took the time to express their concerns to Parrish, which they have shared with 10Centimeters.

K. wrote:

I was disturbed that a representative was at the rally for midwives on February 16, 2012. Did you see the opposition? Did you wonder about the 38 names on the balloons that represented the loss of life or injury? Did you speak with any of the grieving families? Did you bother to ask about the financial burden a midwife can cause and leave a family, while eluding any sort of responsibility for their ineptitude? My midwife first gave me a financial agreement for $4950. I never signed it. She switched the paperwork and asked me to “sign this real quick”. She changed the cost to $6500. After my emergency transfer and c-section due to the medical incompetence of my licensed, certified midwife, my bill now totaled $30,000. The midwives billed my insurance $11,000 and received $7,000. All without even delivering my son. I filed a complaint with OHLA. It took them 7 months to even call me for an interview. It has now been 17 months and I have heard nothing. My midwife lied, forged medical documents and apparently did not have the proper education. 

Please ask, look and listen to the families of the dead, injured and financially strapped due to a midwives negligence. Midwives do not save Oregon money if they continue to cause harm. We need proper education, OHLA to actually regulate on the behalf of the consumers, accountability for their actions and responsibility in the form of insurance. Ask MANA to release the information, we need transparency. How can you form an educated opinion on such a subject without looking at both sides? Please open your eyes to the families that continue to suffer. We only want safety for our mothers and babies. Midwives should want the same.

Thank you for your time. 

And C. wrote:

Dear Representative Parrish,

My friends tell me you supported midwives wholeheartedly at their rally last week. I was unable to attend, as I am recovering from pelvic reconstruction surgery and a hysterectomy due to severe prolapse caused by certified professional Oregon midwives’ destruction of my perineum (performing episiotomies and one repair – over two births – that I later learned they had no idea how to perform). 

I urge you to look into the hidden side of midwifery in Oregon: The high cost of caring for the babies and mamas that CPMs (severely undertrained – even the most experienced of the lot!) endanger and harm. The cost to Oregon – and to victims like me – is much greater than any money they appear to be saving anyone!
…During my first birth in 2007, a CPM who later didn’t report my scar tissue performed an episiotomy (talking my husband out of the hospital transfer he was requesting, which I would have supported) that included scissors slipping. That’s okay when you’re cutting felt, but not perineal tissue. Then she missed that I tore into my rectum – again, I should have been risked out of midwife repair, but she hadn’t the education to do that. Then I waited for hours until my second CPM sewed me up – grossly crooked and overlapping. Perhaps unfortunately, even though standard of care dictates laceration repair is to be concluded within three hours of the laceration, I did heal completely – but that crooked and overlapping repair set the stage for my tragic second birth, in which my child was thankfully unscathed but I endured a double episiotomy that was, frankly, violent. My third midwife involved in all of this, the owner of the birth center, wrenched and sawed. I am not exaggerating… I lost two liters of blood. And remember that three-hour-repair standard of care? That was news to this midwife, too, only this time I did *not* heal completely. The last part of my repair (completed after my transfer to Legacy) fell apart, and left me with a gaping vagina and a millimeter – maybe two – between vagina and anus. The double episiotomy was necessary because the baby could not get past the overlapping repair job from my first birth – there just wasn’t enough room, and that scar tissue would not stretch. 
I’m not even telling you everything that happened. CPMs did so much wrong in our births. The midwife recopied my second birth’s labor notes (illegal – and also common during poor midwife-attended outcomes, I have found). After the second birth, my midwives actually wanted to get me back into the birth tub (I birthed on a bed nearby) per my wishes, as I had no idea how bad my condition was, and would have let me had I not fainted on the way. There is more. And I could go on about the physical and emotional ramifications this ordeal has had for me and my family, and the thousands of dollars all this has cost, but I want to emphasize what got me here: Repeated cavalier carelessness combined with inadequate training. Every single one of the other midwifery malpractice victims I have met has experienced the same thing. There is a disturbing trend at work here. And Oregon is leading the way, because women travel from all over the country to attend Birthingway College of Midwifery!
Families need to know what they’re choosing when they choose a midwife. Midwives need to be not just licensed, but required to carry malpractice insurance as a condition of licensure. Training and oversight needs vast improvement. (OHLA still hasn’t gotten back to me about their investigation into my midwives. It’s been months and months … several months ago, I was told a decision was coming soon. No word since. I’m almost afraid to ask. I fear I don’t really want to know what little OHLA has done about my midwives’ negligence!) Reporting needs to be thorough and unbiased – and available to the public! 
Both women received the exact same response:

Thanks so much for your email. I’m sorry to hear of the complications from your birth experience.

Yes, I do support midwives, and people’s right to choose how to have their child. My personal birth choice for all three of my children was to have them in hospitals. I believe in people’s personal liberties to make the choices they see fit for their families. And yes, I do know that there have been complications for women attended by midwives. And when those happen, they are tragic to be sure, but because of the stigma around home births and midwivery as a choice, they also become more pronounced in the media.

I’ve sat now through a few hearings about midwivery practice in Oregon and when I asked the officials from the state about statistics around mortality rates for infants delivered via a midwife, I was told that there were five deaths in 2010. When I asked for the same statistic for hospital mortalities [sic], I was told they don’t actively track that number.

The night I had my first child, I went to the hospital to be induced. Another couple we knew had the same doctor and was also being induced that evening. One of us went home with a child, the other didn’t. Clearly, bad outcomes happen in hospitals too. Ironically, the doctor who delivered my first child serves in the Oregon Legislature with me.

Birthing babies is definitely not what happens in the movies. It can be scary, and dramatic, and yes, tragedies do happen. My support of midwives has less to do with cost savings, and more to do with a family’s right to make a choice that serves their family. That choice also needs to be an informed choice. All the laws we write won’t mitigate the inherent risk of having a child.

If a midwife is performing outside of their scope, that’s something to be looked at to be sure. Ensuring a midwife is safe in his/her practice is critical. But I will continue to support birth choices for families, and hope that each family will weigh the pro’s and con’s of a midwife/home birth over a more traditional hospital birth.

Again, I am truly sorry that your own experience had an unfortunate ending around what should have been a joyous occasion for your family.

Best,

Julie Parrish

That’s right, Loss Moms: Babies die in hospitals, too. Straight from a legislator near you. And once again, the co-opting of the language of choice. Are pro-choice advocates working for women to be able to choose a back-alley abortion with an unlicensed and untrained provider? No, just the opposite.

Not only that, she claims that hospital death numbers aren’t tracked. Um…you can get the hospital data from the CDC Wonder database. It is true that vital statistics data is compiled very slowly, and the most recent information available to the public is from 2007. But it exists, and will eventually have the 2010 data, so to say that it isn’t recorded is the epitome of baloney. For the years between 2000 and 2007, the average hospital infant mortality rate in Oregon 37 weeks and beyond is 2.3/1000. This is for all care providers, including MDs who take on high risk mothers and babies. The average rate for CNMs in Oregon, which is the group to which we should be comparing homebirth midwives, is 1.7/1000. Homebirth midwives other than CNMs in Oregon averaged 735 births per year between 2002 and 2008. If you are generous and assume they had 900 births in 2010, the five deaths she mentions would be a death rate of 5.6/thousand. That rate is (drumroll please…) 3.3 TIMES the average CNM rate of death.

If you have something to say to Representative Parrish, you can contact her using the following information:

Her email is rep.julieparrish@state.or.us.

Her office address in Salem is:

900 Court St. NE, H-386
Salem, OR 97301

Her district office address is:

1980 Willamette Falls Drive #120-312 West Linn, Oregon 97068.

Friday Fallacies: The Hospital Is Just Minutes Away

Anytime you come across someone defending homebirth, you’re going to hear that you can always transfer in case of an emergency. It comes up in almost every thread where someone mentions qualms — be it their own, their partner’s or their mother-in-law’s — about giving birth at home.
etc., etc., etc. This sentiment is all over the internet.
The problem with birth, however, is that when things go wrong, they go very, very wrong. And it can happen quickly. Cord accidents, uterine rupture, placental abruption, hemorrhage…all can occur in a matter of minutes, and all can be deadly.

There are plenty of problems with the “The hospital is only minutes away!” platitude with which all these women are comforting their worried family members.

One is the idea that being “ten minutes” from a hospital means that you can go from realizing there’s a problem to having the baby out and alive in ten minutes. This scenario is certainly realistic. IF YOU’RE ALREADY IN THE HOSPITAL. The hospital where I volunteer as a doula can perform a stat c-section in eight minutes.

If you’re having a homebirth, however, it simply isn’t going to happen. Let’s assume you got lucky and managed to hire a midwife who is not only competent enough to recognize a serious emergent situation and recommend a transfer in a timely fashion, but has a relationship with a hospital where they trust her judgement (read: this is a CNM). This midwife must also have accurate and complete records and bring the chart with her to the hospital. Now, this seems like a no-brainer, but ask these women or any number of L&D nurses that I know, and you will learn that it is sadly uncommon. But I digress.

You will have to get to the ER somehow. If you’ve called EMS, it will probably take them a minimum ten minutes to get to your house, five to ten minutes to grab you, load you in and get the hell out, and another ten minutes to get to the ER. Hopefully the paramedics have called in to let them know what to expect and the OBs are racing to the ER to meet you. If you don’t call an ambulance, it might take less time to get to the hospital (or not, seeing that your laboring body probably isn’t moving too quickly), but you don’t have the call ahead or stabilization the paramedics could provide.

Once you’ve arrived, an entire team flocks to you, hooking up monitors and placing IVs, all while trying to get the appropriate details. Since you’ve had all your care at home, the hospital has no records; if you had been laboring in the hospital, the history and physical notes, progress notes, labs (you’re going to need your blood typed and crossed for surgery), and IV sites WOULD ALREADY BE DONE. If you are dehydrated from laboring for an extended period of time or from an attempt to induce your labor using castor oil, they will have a hard time inserting the IV, which could cost precious minutes. They will use a portable ultrasound to check the baby unless the head (or body, as in the Lucian Kolberstein and Henry Bizzell cases) is out, in which case they will attempt to get the baby out or head straight for the OR. Even the very best and most efficient team is going to take an additional ten minutes after you show up in the ER to have you prepped and in the OR for an emergency cesarean, and that’s with rapid intubation and general anesthesia. The BEST CASE scenario is 30-45 minutes, not the eight it would take if you were already there.

Now, this scenario only applies if you happen to live in an area with a large teaching hospital and on-call OBs 24/7. What happens when the closest hospital is a smaller community hospital? More than likely, the only doctor there is going to be an ER doctor, not an obstetrician. The OB will have to be called in, as an ER doctor isn’t going to perform a cesarean unless you are dead and your baby is still alive, and may live up to 30 minutes away from the hospital. If the ER doctor is able to deliver your baby — which he hasn’t done since med school — he or she may be the only doctor at the hospital, so the focus will be split between you and your child. He or she may not have intubated an neonate since med school, either. He or she may not be required to have a neonatal resuscitation certification. By the time the OB and pediatrician arrive, an hour may have passed since your midwife first realized you were in desperate need of a transfer.

Do you want to go for an hour without breathing? What makes you think your baby does?

Guest Post — Getting Over the Guilt: NCB is Not Easy to Shake

Please welcome guest blogger and raptor extraordinaire, Lisa Miller.

On different parenting sites we’ve all seen quotes like this:

“At the moment we decided on the transfer, however, was the moment I felt the most guilty and as though I had failed.”

“ [I] Was so ashamed and embarrassed to have gotten the epi[dural] after 26 hrs of horrible back labor, I somehow had myself convinced I did something wrong for it to hurt so bad…”

“Even though I KNOW that I want an epidural this time, I occasionally catch myself thinking that I should just tough it out again and see if it’s better”

“I was not strong enough to make it. I pussed out.”

“I remember feeling immense guilt and failure for several months after Anna was born.”

“I knew I wanted the epi[dural] with #6 but felt weird about it all at the same time.”

“I still feel guilt over not nursing Elijah as long as I did the others and feel that it’s my fault he has had so much to deal with health wise.”

“ I do remember – however – feeling worried about posting my birth story on Babycenter (haha, why Lord, why?) because it ended in a c-section and I felt like I failed at birth (siiiiiiigh) that first week or so after the surgery.”

A Confession to my Closest Friends:

Common as these types of conversations are, this is not a collection of quotes from Birth Without Fear or Baby Center. These are selections from a conversation the Raptors were having just this morning. Yes, all these women are the rational ladies who support a woman’s right to choose drugs for labor and to formula feed and see nothing wrong with either. Apparently we do not extend such courtesy to ourselves.

How deeply do those of us who were steeped in Natural Child Birth still feel guilt over making the choices we did in labor? I feel so guilty that I have been lying to you all for the past year. Yes, I’ve told this lie so many times that it just seemed natural to tell it to the hordes of new best friends I have made over the last year. You all know that I got an epidural with my second birth, but you didn’t know I also got one with my first.
Why would I do such a thing? I know that getting pain relief in labor is a fine, safe, and perfectly acceptable option. Why the lie?

The first thing I am going to do is to rationalize my lie to you, because I STILL feel the need to defend it. With both my kids I was pushing within 30 minutes of getting pain relief—thus I still feel like I earned the title of Natural Birther, because I did all the hard stuff without drugs. This does not matter one bit. But it still does to me. Why is that?

The Natural Child Birth Does Me Wrong:

I had not been able to unclench my jaw since my daughter had been born. The pain from the clenching had caused my teeth to ache. I went to the dentist where he filled my teeth and gave me Vicodin. The only time I felt OK was when I was taking it. Soon enough I could not get any more narcotics and the pain from my jaw had moved to my neck and was making its way down my back. I was frantically borrowing pain killers from friends and family, scared to ask for some from a doctor because I feared they’d think I was a drug addict. Something was wrong.

Nine months pass and I can no longer get out of bed without help. I ache like a 90-year old-woman. The Doctors test all come back fine. They occasionally see some inflammation but they test me for everything under the sun. It’s not Lupus, it’s not Lyme’s. In the mornings I load my kids up in the car. We buy lunch at fast food places and we drive until I can’t afford anymore gas. It is the only way I can take care of them. At least when they are strapped in I don’t have to walk or move much, which causes me too much pain. I have resorted to buying pain pills from a sketchy guy that comes into the place where I work for $5 a pill. And they don’t help much. This is not the mother I wanted to be.

When my legs start swelling and I get fevers of 101.1, I break down in a doctor’s office. I tell her about everything, the pain, the pills, being an awful mother. She places her hand on my knee and looks over my record. “Honey, you have Fibromyalgia” She says as she rubs my shoulder.

And finally I have a name. Fibromyalgia is a disorder of the central nervous system that screws up the bodies pain receptors. It tells your brain that you are in pain when you are not. In people with fibromyalgia, as many as 35% have also been diagnosed with PTSD, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. When my doctor asks me about what was happening around the time the disorder started, I wrack my brain.

“If it was some type of trauma” She began “It would be something that you’ve replayed over and over, almost obsessively. Perhaps something that causes you nightmares?” Well, now that you mention it…

I had been having the dream since the day of my labor–the first one starting in the hospital. I see my husband– his usually calm and collected face looking at me in terror—eyes wide, head slightly shaking, and this scares me. He is the strong one and here he is falling apart. It scares me to death. And the pain, I can feel it like it was actually happening. Most people forget the pain of childbirth almost as soon as it is over, but I wake myself up having another dreaded contraction, only to find that it’s not real. I am clutching a deflated belly with not so much as a cramp.

My son’s labor was just long. Twenty two hours, with back labor and Pitocin and I got just got tired. The epidural helped to relax me and he was born soon after.

My daughter’s labor was 6 hours start to finish and was frantic. I remember trying to walk in the parking lot outside the hospital but every step caused a contraction and each one was worse than the last. When I actually got into the room, I went from my hands and knees, to the tub, to the ball to the bed and could not get a break from the pain. It hurt so bad that I remember looking down at my knuckles, which were white and griping the bed sheet and wondering how I could kill myself quickly. I didn’t ask for the epidural so much as I demanded it, and then begged. I cried knowing that it would take an hour for them to get a bag of fluids in me and then to get the actual drugs. I don’t like remembering this. Some folks might say that it was the epidural that caused the fibro to flair. To them I say: I didn’t have nightmares for months about getting pain relief. But I still have guilt.

So I did it to myself. I have given myself a life-long disorder for a belief I would later come to realize was not even real. The medicine they have me on has allowed me to be the mother I have always wanted to be. I still have bad days but I have a life. Having this condition has taken so much from me and once it is released, no amount of getting over my birth will make it go away. I am currently pregnant with our third child, taking a risk to be on the medicine while I am pregnant. Fibro has taken so many things from us, I refuse to let it take the family that my husband and I always dreamed of.

This labor, I plan of trying to be induced so that I know I can have an epidural as soon as possible with no waiting time. I have not a bit of guilt in that, and yet I still have guilt and shame from the epidurals I got in my other labors. I still feel like I failed at some goal I had set for myself. My rational mind knows this is insane, yet the guilt is still there.

So to my Raptor friends: I apologize for lying to you. And I am also sorry that I still have the need to offer further explanations (I have a pelvis that turns my babies’ sunny side up and makes labor very painful). But knowing that many of you still carry around the guilt makes me see how powerful this business of NCB really is. I see how it can get into your head and make you crazy with thoughts and insecurities. So here is to getting over it, moving on and not forgiving ourselves…because we’ve done nothing wrong.

Beyonce Must Be a Terrible Mother

I personally have no idea what kind of mother Beyonce is. When I first read she was pregnant, I figured she’d be a lot like the rest of us: she would love her child deeply and want the very best for her.

Now that said infant has arrived, however, it has come to light that Beyonce is the Worst Mother In The World ™.  At least it has to many members of the Natural Child Birth Community. How did they figure this out? Well, they read in a few online tabloid articles that she gave birth via c-section. Because her baby was breech. At–somewhere around…maybe…that’s the rumor at least–37 weeks. Now, of course, breech babies are currently (unless you are a real woman, in which case you’ll give birth to your footling breech twins vaginally at home) on the official Approved Reasons for a C-section® list, but it is so very clear to these women that the timing for Beyonce is  inappropriate. We all know that articles about celebrities are the epitome of accuracy in journalism. We also know that certain members of the NCB elite have special powers enabling them to determine whether circumstances surrounding a c-section were appropriate without access to medical records (I have experienced women with these amazing powers firsthand when sharing my own birth story). And there is NO WAY that Beyonce might have released a due date later than her real one in order to throw the paparazzi off. So what does all this mean? Yep, it means that Beyonce is a selfish, horrible mother. And that the birth of her baby is sick. Gross. Ridiculous. Stupid. A real bummer. Worthy of the pronouncement, “Ugh!”

(might I interject here that I find it a little frightening that there’s a woman out there calling herself a midwife who is unaware of the difference between a gut and a uterus…)
But wait, there’s more! I had forgotten that when your baby is extracted through the sunroof, it isn’t really birth.
In reality, the baby was harvested and Beyonce would have been better off using a surrogate if she couldn’t handle a vaginal breech birth.
Yep. Oh, and beware injecting reason into any discussion regarding the issue, lest you find yourself banned!
Ah, warm memories come flooding back of the time I told my birth story in the livejournal [info]pregnant community. How quickly we forget that that mothers — even celebrities — who have c-sections are people, too.
Lest I be accused of taking things out of context, have a gander at the original threads yourself (they’re all currently open for anyone to view):